Jason Porath

Before I kill you, Mister Bond James Ernest’s Totally Renamed Spy Game is back on the shelves, baby!

I definitely like this better than any manga depictions of similar ideas (Steamboy, Steam Detectives, even Ninja High School)

Not enough crazy in your day? Let me fix that.

Have you ever wondered what the entire roster of major DC superheroes would look like as ponies?

Wonder no more!

Oh Jesus. Oh Jesus, my eyes burn.

And the minions of Cthulhu begin their advance…

Baby, why you make me gotta hit you?

1) A guy driving one of the little electric golf cart looking vehicles in the street. All of this is normal, except that this man looked like he was homeless, and the vehicle was filled to the brim with old newspapers, banana peels, and had two large off-white sacks on top of the roof. The vehicle itself was pristine and white and beautiful, not a fleck of dirt on it. I would like to imagine that he stole it from some poor mailman, and the two sacks on the roof were mail.

2) A bus stopped by where I was eating, and a well-dressed man in a bright yellow suit with a cowboy hat seemed very anxious to get on the bus. So much so that he tried cutting in front of this guy in a wheelchair. The bus driver was having none of it, so she told him to step aside and to let her get the wheelchair mechanism going. Undeterred, the man in the yellow suit went to the back door of the bus and tried to get on. The bus driver closed the door in his face. After the wheelchair guy finally got on, the man in the yellow suit stood there, anxiously waiting for his chance to board, but upon seeing a pretty young lady standing next to him, stood aside, took off his hat, and waved her to go in front of him.

I wish I could end this story by saying that he was reunited with his curious pet monkey, but that was tragically not the case.

I’ve had some real lemons when I buy computer parts, but never anything this bad.

I have run into a hell of a lot of people recently that, when talking of movies, sort of give me a wink and a nod, going into a long spiel about how computer graphics has destroyed the movie industry. You know, since I’m a smart person, I surely realize that Episode I was the apocalypse, and that CG makes everything worse.

To them, I say: I work in computer graphics, you git.

That being a popular drum to beat notwithstanding, the fact remains that most people don’t know good CG when it bites them on the ass. The Matrix 2 and 3 was good CG. If the story had been compelling, you wouldn’t have been so bored that you started thinking it looked fake. I mean, honestly, you tell me which Smith is real without reading the caption.

And on the other hand, most people will completely overlook bad CG when the story is good. Case in point.