Alright, haven’t posted in awhile, but I’m not dead, yet.
Here’s what’s going on.
I’ve been trying like mad to get out of the country. I’ve applied to teach english in Japan with The Jet Program (who dicked me around and put me on a wait list; I get to know sometime before the end of August if I’m in) and AEON (with whom I did two interviews and got rejected). I have a hard deadline of September — my roommates are moving out at that point, so I need to be out of here.
It does feel a lot like this chapter of my life is sort of ending. A lot of my friends are moving away. Ananda left today. Tanya’s in Texas for months at a time. Nina’s in Prague and Matt’s in Croatia. So on and so forth. 80% of the numbers in my phone aren’t any good anymore. On top of this, I’m finding out that I actually don’t like Los Angeles very much. I’m growing disenchanted with visual effects and film in general — I don’t really have any interest in going to SIGGRAPH this year, aside from seeing a couple friends. Video games, too, are starting to feel like a waste of time. Honestly, pretty much everything is starting to feel like a poor use of my time, aside from spending time with friends, because I’m losing them at a fantastic rate, and not making new ones to replace them very easily. I just feel tired and vaguely angry most of the time.
That’s most of why Break hasn’t been updated a whole lot lately. It seems kind of paltry to use my time on some whiny soap opera, which comes off as way more chauvinistic, melodramatic, and poorly drawn than I mean it to. I still plan on finishing it, and I may get the energy to do so soon enough; but for now it, like so much else, just feels like a bad use of my time.
You’ve got to learn to save yourself
Before you find there’s nothing left
But bitterness
And hollowness
And afterglow
And afterglow