Jason Porath

has a website, i guess

Month: June 2004 (page 1 of 2)


Huh, new Sky Captain trailer out. Looks pretty generic, got none of the old timey flair that makes this movie interesting.

Got none of the shots we’ve been working on either. I think most all of our stuff comes at the end of the movie.


Best. Title. Ever.

Spews sticky stuff more than most

Continuing on the theme of Spider-Man being gay… (reload, it’s a new one each time; there’s like 20 of em)

(grabbed from boing boing)

So he really does use those chains

Haven’t been riding the bus much lately (people are kind enough to give me rides), so not too many bus tales. But here’s a little somethin’ somethin’:

There is a goth/industrial looking guy who rides the bus and gets off at the same stop that I do. I first assumed he was an artist at where I work, because, honestly, no industry seems to attract more goth people than the film industry. I’d seen this guy multiple times, multizippered pants and black chains and leather and all, but I’d never seen him enter, or anywhere in the studio. Today I saw that he actually works next door to us, in a nondescript looking warehouse. There weren’t any signs or anything, so I was curious as to what sort of a place it was, that would have a person of such curious appearance working there. So I googled the address.

Porn warehouse.

That answers that question, I guess.

Mighty sarong of asskicking

Spider-Man goes Indian.

All I can say is, there had better be some dancing.

That’s determination

The Plastic Man jacks fast food place, film at 11

Stranger than fiction

You can’t make this shit up.

Recent Oddities

1) Not quite a UBT: riding the bus home at 8, 8:30 proves to have an entirely different breed of bus patron. While the 5-5:30 crowd is mostly people who just want to get home, and are quite taciturn, people riding the bus at 8-8:30 are, I gather, probably doing so because they are too damn drunk to drive. Such was the case with 7-8 very large black men at the back of the Metro 204, who, in their boisterous and jocular manner, were recalling in lurid detail every piece of pornography they had seen in the past two months. This was a twenty minute long conversation. These guys watch a lot of porn. A lot of weird, scary porn.

2) A lady on the subway today pulled off one of the most amazing feats I’ve seen in some time. Now, to give this some context, the subway trains in LA, for whatever reason, are not machine-operated. The trains are, I am relatively certain, actually driven by people. For today, the train operator was driving in the most jerky manner possible. Usually the train speeds up, gets to a constant speed, then slows at the next stop. Well, this ride was constantly accelerating and decelerating, jerking everyone around. I think the driver was slowing for turns, fearing, perhaps, that the train would hit too high a velocity and simply fly off the tracks, careening down some unknown tunnel, plummeting into the foetid deep. Anyway. Throughout this tumultuous journey, a woman at the other end of the train was putting on makeup while standing up. And it was flawless. Bravo, subway lady.

3) Riding the bus, I look over to the Korean lady sitting next to me, and she’s reading a religious pamphlet. Except the pamphlet is talking about flagellating — whipping — oneself for God. I would think this is weird in and of itself, but I’ve actually seen the exact same thing on a different bus some three years back around here. Different lady, but similar pamphlet. Got to be careful not to go into the wrong Korean church around here, I guess.

More as I remember it. Have to get to work, more deliveries to the client today…

UBT Gaiden: Stroller Derby

Two mild oddities about the subway today:

1) As the train is halting at Hollywood and Vine, I see two people sprinting. One has a stroller in front of her, the other has a baby swaddled up in blankets in his arms. At first I assume that they are trying to catch the train, as they pass the stairs and the elevator. But they pass the first door of my train car… then the second… then the third… and keep going. People on the train turn and look at each other, wondering what they’re doing. I think they were seeing who could run faster with a baby in tow. Stroller derby, baby. 🙂

2) Near my last stop, three deaf girls get on the bus, and one sits down next to me. I take the aisle seat, as my stop is the next one, and I don’t want to climb over her. Bad idea. The other two girls stand on either side of me, and start a sign language shouting match with the seated girl. Hands are flying everywhere, grazing my face, almost knocking my headphones off. It was like being in the middle of a tornado — and I couldn’t help but sing to myself, you are standing in the eye of the storm / move an inch and you’ll be dead…

(bonus points to those who catch the reference — and Jeremy, you don’t count)


I have come to believe that the whole thing about having a dog as man’s best friend is a largely caucasian tradition. Latino families, for example, prefer chickens.

Every day as I walk (run) to my bus stop, I pass one house that has chickens wandering around its yard. They don’t keep the gate closed, so the chickens are spilling out onto the sidewalk and into the street. I’ve seen cars swerve to avoid hitting chickens. This is downtown LA, mind you. Suburban area. Bit north of Compton. The LA riots came within a few blocks of here.

Elsewhere on my block, next to the house with the large attack dog, a rooster guards the house. For those of you who don’t know, roosters don’t just do their trademark cock-a-doodle-doo in the morning. They do it whenever they damn well please. Which is all the time.

Across the street from where I work is a shanty. The yard is walled up with junk, so one cannot actually see into the house or the yard. However, one can hear the chickens. Lots of them. I have never seen anyone go into or come out of that house. I presume it is inhabited solely by chickens.

Yesterday, I got an idea of why some Latino families keep chickens around. While I still assume most families probably keep them for eggs, I have a suspicion that the guys at the end of the block from where I work keep them for cockfighting. I was walking by them yesterday — they’re a bunch of scraggly looking dudes who just seem to hang out in their driveway a lot, King of the Hill-style. As I’m passing them, I hear a loud BAWK! in my ear, and whip about to see a rooster in the passenger’s seat of a van. Like a dog, it had its head out the window. It bawked again. I looked around and saw that every guy there had a rooster or a chicken, and most were grooming them. One guy was fitting his rooster with some sort of custom footwear. It was like chicken Barbie, with grown men.

Ah, LA…

Older posts

© 2024 Jason Porath

Theme by Anders NorenUp ↑