Jason Porath

1) Not quite a UBT: riding the bus home at 8, 8:30 proves to have an entirely different breed of bus patron. While the 5-5:30 crowd is mostly people who just want to get home, and are quite taciturn, people riding the bus at 8-8:30 are, I gather, probably doing so because they are too damn drunk to drive. Such was the case with 7-8 very large black men at the back of the Metro 204, who, in their boisterous and jocular manner, were recalling in lurid detail every piece of pornography they had seen in the past two months. This was a twenty minute long conversation. These guys watch a lot of porn. A lot of weird, scary porn.

2) A lady on the subway today pulled off one of the most amazing feats I’ve seen in some time. Now, to give this some context, the subway trains in LA, for whatever reason, are not machine-operated. The trains are, I am relatively certain, actually driven by people. For today, the train operator was driving in the most jerky manner possible. Usually the train speeds up, gets to a constant speed, then slows at the next stop. Well, this ride was constantly accelerating and decelerating, jerking everyone around. I think the driver was slowing for turns, fearing, perhaps, that the train would hit too high a velocity and simply fly off the tracks, careening down some unknown tunnel, plummeting into the foetid deep. Anyway. Throughout this tumultuous journey, a woman at the other end of the train was putting on makeup while standing up. And it was flawless. Bravo, subway lady.

3) Riding the bus, I look over to the Korean lady sitting next to me, and she’s reading a religious pamphlet. Except the pamphlet is talking about flagellating — whipping — oneself for God. I would think this is weird in and of itself, but I’ve actually seen the exact same thing on a different bus some three years back around here. Different lady, but similar pamphlet. Got to be careful not to go into the wrong Korean church around here, I guess.

More as I remember it. Have to get to work, more deliveries to the client today…