So I had to come into work today. Today is a federal holiday. The porn industry has a day off today. But the movie needs to get done. So I come in.

However, the bus system is on a weekend schedule today, which means a different route, which means adventure time.

I start my trek off by going to Hollywood and Highland, looking for a connection to bus 163, and, upon not finding it, wandering around for about 15 minutes. During this time, I place a phone call to my mom, to look up bus times on the net for me (as it’s 6 AM on the west coast, and calling anyone would be a supreme act of douchebaggery), and I’m chatting on the phone with her as I walk down the road.

Down the street, I see a guy who looks like the lead singer for Metallica back when he had long hair. He is chasing pigeons and yelling at them. So yeah, he’s crazy. I try to avoid eye contact, but can’t really avoid him catching sight of me and running full bore at me.

“Do you want to sucker punch me?! Huh?! You mother fucker!!”

He’s coming at me, waving his arms at me, and it’s genuinely frightening. I sidestep him, going out slightly into the street. He takes this as an obvious Sign Of Victory, and begins to mock me.

“You’re fucking filth, you know that?! You cum-soaked mother fucker!!”

So I get away from him, rather quickly, while still on the phone with my mom (who was wondering what all that yelling was about), and get to my bus stop.

At my bus stop, I find that someone has taken a dump somewhere behind the bench. I did not ever see the feces, but boy, did I know they were there.

After 45 minutes of chillin’ with the turd, my bus comes, and I get to work 30 minutes late.

And nobody’s there.

The entire place is locked up. I have no keys, no way to get in, so I sit there for a half hour, waiting for people to arrive. I make a short phone call to Zoe, who is doing well, I’m glad to hear, and then get to work.

Can’t wait for the return trip later today… 🙂