Just fall asleep but make sure you’re always frowning
It shows the world you’ve got substance and depth
You know that life is an impossible scheme
And love an imperceptible dream

-Pet Shop Boys, Miserabalism

I take the stairs when there’s an escalator. Order in person instead of on the phone. Abstain from medicine when I’ve got the flu. Walk when I could drive. Stand when I could sit. I do these things because they are hard. Sanitizing your life destroys your immune system.

This contrarian self has made an optimist of me. I’m sunny merely by the ease of turning cloudy. I have become the albino panda, the animal nearly hunted to extinction by the weight of the world. Scars, rage, regrets, laments, guilt, jealousy, losses, they are all of them albatrosses, and I will not have them ring my neck. These are flighty things. I keep them alive with me for a time, and let them go when it is their time. I will not let tragedy write my dictionary entry. I will not let the footnote read “See: Victim“.