Today, I

Stood on the grave of a great man.

Witnessed the domicile of the loneliest pagan oil tycoon in Colorado.

Got my first speeding ticket (and nearly got thrown in jail).

Heard Achy Breaky Heart for the first time in ten years.

Came upon Foley Tractor Rentals, off of Reynolds Street; I expect three of you to find this darkly hilarious.

Saw a hundred-year old buffalo.

Nearly bought a table with human legs.

Tried to go to the sole refuge for D&D nerds in the midwest, only to find it closed.

Ran into one of Dick Cheney’s minions.

Learned of Kansas’s version of the Winchester Mansion – the “Garden of Eden.”

Narrowly decided to not go see the biggest ball of twine in the world.

Found the following songs ironic during the circumstances: “Good Ship Lifestyle,” “Sleep,” “Road Trippin,” and “America.”

Passed a Kansas town which purports to have Christmas every day of the year.

Dreaded this trip ever ending.

Rewrote chunks of Ghost Town in my head.

Stayed in a hotel room so small that the bathroom door could not close if the seat to the (explosively pressurized) toilet was down.

Broke my car a little bit more.

The main adventure of the day was the ticket. It was $125.60, as he clocked me doing 98 in a 75 zone. Had I been going 101, he’d have thrown me in jail with a $1000 bail. He talked to me as he would a teenager, with a treble in his voice whenever he mentioned the money, as if it were some fell and terrible financial blow. Maybe I’m cavalier with money, but I don’t mind. I had been going 100 for several hours. The extra 75 miles – the full extra hour of daylight, picture taking, and adventure – I gained by going over the speed limit was worth $125. It probably would have been worth $1000, for the added experience of going to jail. Money will come and go. I don’t care that much about it. I pay for my friends when we go out, I tip well at restaurants, and I buy little presents for my loved ones, because if money does not bring happiness, then it’s useless.

After all this is done, I may not be making as much money as I have been. Life may be a bit harder because of that. But I’ve been working for money, and it’s ruined me. I don’t think a lack of money could do half the damage.