A mailing list that I’m on was writing a Fifty Shades of Grey parody starring the Hulk. Here is my addition, for posterity:

In the dim light of the morning, he somehow seemed smaller. Softer. More tender. He tiptoed back into his lavender pants, which hung baggy around his skinny waist. As he gingerly fingered the doorknob, she whispered don’t go – and he broke into a full-body blush. All that was green mere hours earlier was a burning shade of pink.

Steeling himself against the doorjamb, he dared not look back, lest he fall back into bed once more. “What, are you mad at me?” she teased out in her sing-song voice.

“No. I could never.” He tilted his head across his broad shoulders and locked eyes with her from across the room. “You wouldn’t like me when I’m angry. And we can’t have that.”

And with that, he was gone, vanished into the streets without a trace.